The Honest Toddler

So, Mom, you think you’ve got it under control?
You’re watching me like a little fish in a bowl.
You’ve underestimated just what I can do.
Go to the bathroom – I’ll show you!
Close the door, get busy,
I can have this house upside down in moments – and you in a tizzy!
Think that I am asleep?
Good! I’ll wait till you’re sure, won’t make a peep,
And once you’re out
I’ll set my plan in action, and you’ll see what I’m all about.
I’ll design some custom artwork that’s sure to make you squeal.
I’ll do more than one wall, just so you get a good deal!
I’ll cook you up a meal, even serve some tea,
Got the water out of the pot – don’t think there was any pee!
I’ll check all of the tissue, pull it all out of the box,
Make sure that the silverware is in good shape, and un-pair all of the socks.
I’ll take the pages from your favorite book,
And sprinkle sand in every corner and nook.
I’ll test Fido’s patience and beat him with a broom,
And make sure that everything from my toy box has it’s own special place in every room!
Laundry is no problem, for an expert like me,
You will marvel at how quickly I can make sure it’s all dirty!
I’ll tile the kitchen with crackers and peanut butter,
And the stuff I can pull off in the bathroom will make you shudder!
I’ll make a phone call to China, of course, long distance,
And re-set all of your technical equipment.
Knob and plug in covers, and that pesky safety gate,
Hold nothing over me, Toddler the Great!
Don’t worry Mom, I’ve got it all under control,
I’m watching you like a little fish in a bowl.


I can’t wait for you to take me shopping!