My house needs new windows. There are a few electrical problems. We named the hot water heater 'Freddy' because it makes so much noise. Seriously, if you run the hot water for a while, you will hear banging and slamming like someone is stuck in my hall closet and trying to bust their way out. I am sure that one day, probably soon, Freddy will give up and we will have to take a cold shower. Honestly, there are a lot of tough things going on right now. And I know that my family and I are not the only ones. One day when I was taking Aubrie to school, I passed something on the road. Road kill. Yuck. This thing had been run over so many times, and smashed so bad, that I couldn't tell what it had been. The thought popped into my head - that's me. I have been run over pretty bad, to where I can't really remember what I was before all this. And, I know that I am not the only one.
I try to keep what I write here on the positive side. There have been a lot of times that sitting down and writing something has helped me to find the bright side, and sometimes I really need that. I need to look at things and make an effort to see the best parts. The clock is ticking, time is flying, flying fast - and I don't want to re-hash, and remember, and hang on to the ugly parts. I need the best things for my memory scrap book. Those things are always there, if I pay attention to them. I haven't been writing much lately. I am having a hard time finding the positive side. But, it is still there. And I am going to look for it.
I love this old house. With it's drafty windows, funky oven, tempermental electrical, and Freddy, who has managed to give us hot showers for nearly three years now. I am going to enjoy it. It's no palace, but it's not a bad place to live. Not at all.
There have been times that I have prayed for the impossible. And watched it come to be right in front of me. The finger print of God, His own personal stamp, has been impressed upon so many areas of my life. I have to tell you, that even though I can not begin to understand why, I think that I am special to God. He has showed me. Just because I am having a hard time right now, just because I do not understand, doesn't void out all the good that God has done. He has been good to me, to my family. So good. And He is still the same God. The same God who has answered my prayers. The same God that brought me back to Him. He is the SAME. So, even though I can not understand right now - I still believe. I am digging my heels in, and I am not going anywere.
3 comments:
Believe me, I feel like road kill right now too.
It's so hard to find the silver lining inside such a dark cloud, but it's comforting to know that there is one, even if I don't see it now.
Thankfully God never leaves us or forsakes us... :)
I love you Thresa!!! You are often in my thoughts & prayers. We WILL survive!
God gave me a chorus a while back that maybe can help you during those moments when you don't understand.
"God's way is the best way for me. God's way is the best way for me. And though I may not understand the things in my God's plan, still I will trust Him for His way is best for me."
I have sung this many times over whenever I am facing a "road kill" moment and can't seem to find any sane reason for what is happening in my life. Be encouraged for HE ALWAYS knows what we are going through and has a plan for our lives.
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